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If being feeling-less spares you from the agonies of life, or at least from some of them, would you choose to be one who is feeling-less?

This question has bothered me for years...

sigh...

Why, of all times, all these things have to happen now? Ill-feeling towards ch, the abandonment of responsibilities, being labelled as an ingrate, isolation, broken relationships... Why wHY WHY?

And why do all these things intensifies as time goes by? Not just these, but as the exams are nearing, witnessing of accidents and a suicide case followed. Sigh...

The exam anxieties are enough, why add on fears, worries and even a broken heart?

While on the way back home on the MRT, I was thinking what will happen if an accident occurred to me, if Iapos;m not as fortunate as her, and I�die? A lot came to me, in summary, if I�leave just like that, it will be a life full of regrets.

Relationships that havenapos;t been mended, responsibilities (and in a way, debts) unpaid, gratitudes not shown, dreams unfulfilled... That really shows what a "great" passer-by of the world I�am. I�came with nothing, and leave with nothing, not even a soul saved. Useless life, in a way.

To be fair, I�do appreciate God, my Heavenly Father, for all He has done for me. All the wonders and miracles, awesome friends, surprises, great teachers, revelations on some parts of my past...

At the same time, I�do agree with my ah maapos;s last sms to me.

Now, a useless life, lousy character and weird happenings, yet loved by God. I have no rights to complain much because I�have indeed received much from Him. But I admit, I have countless requests to make, so much so that my last breath would be insufficient to list...
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